Jealousy

The difference between envy and jealousy is one of possession and ownership: Jealousy creates a resentful suspicion but envy is often a desire for or a feeling of ill will over someone’s success or advantages. Envy is a pain (Aristotle) or it aims at destroying other’s good fortune (Kant). But jealousy involves three persons: the subject, the rival and the beloved and the jealous person's real locus of concern is the beloved—the person whose affection he is losing or fears losing—not his rival. That is the real difference that the envier’s real concern is the rival.

Jealousy is not a new concept to humanity. Right from the start of Greek civilization, it has been the underlying factor and a great concern too. Hera the wife of Zeus revealed her jealousy whenever Zeus showed some interest in other gods like Leto, Callisto, Lo and Lamia. Judaism had to deal with it from the moment monotheism became the part and parcel of their life. The Shema and the Ten Commandments reveal the Jealous God and a vulnerable people who give into jealousy. Christianity has some strong lessons on jealousy in the NT: For where jealousy and selfish ambition are, there is confusion and every evil deed. (James 3:14-16). St. Paul talks about the works of the flesh in Galatians (jealousies).

The main concern among the leaders of the church is that jealousy brings in inconsistency in our faith. It certainly is contrary to the Golden Rule of Jesus and incompatible with the faith we profess in. Both the 1st reading and the gospel reading reveal the paranoid disciplines of people who wanted to ‘safeguard’ the boundaries of the church. It was impossible for Ancient Greek rulers and philosophers and also the Egyptians to understand and appreciate the One True God of the Jews; yet Cyrus, the king of Persia was referred to as a Messiah by the Jews. Romans had power and intelligence yet a soldier came to Jesus and professed faith in a Jew called Jesus.

Tax collectors, prostitutes, murderer Paul and political extremist Simon the Zealot were are welcomed into the heart of Jesus. Outsiders like the Samaritans, Romans were considered heroes in the language of Jesus. Jesus refused to live by the divisions and barriers of one's own race, one's own religious institution, one's own political party. When the disciples wanted exclusive claims he challenged them. "Do not stop him . . . Whoever is not against us is for us." God can never be a reference point of separation, anarchy or war since God is the point of Unity and peace.

Jealousy is the cause of many breakups of relationships down through the centuries. Experts say the negative effects of Jealousy are often Paranoia (checking on you every time, checking cell phones etc.), Fighting (lack of trust, leading to anger and aggression), inaccurate accusations and ultimately the Break-ups. It is essential that every married ring carries a tremendous amount of love and trust the every time you see it, it should increase your married love with one another and God. Children need to witness that unity and trust of the parents every time they see the parents together. Every Christian has the responsibility to work towards unity and peace and avoid jealousy overtaking us.

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Ephphatha is not just a physical healing!

Hearing and speaking are God’s great gifts. Allen Peace in his book “Talk Language” and later on an interview in 2004 for CNN states that women can speak 20,000 to 24,000 words a day versus man’s top end of 7,000 to 10,000. Words range from swearing to lying, best to worst and life to death. The world has taught us how to talk in public and in private. Our daily greetings, our exchange of love, our worship, our struggles and happiness, our fears and anxieties are all translated by words, sponsored and hijacked sometimes blackmailed. Without words, we are hardly connected, unable to form societies. The apes got together to groom themselves and we go together to spread ideas that are good and bad to groom ourselves. As a result we have thousands of languages: the product of rumor and gossip!!!

Last year the movie ‘Doubt’ drew a lot of attention to people like me. What fascinated me in that movie was the story of the pastor in one of his homilies on gossip and rumor. The feathers that went out from our windows can’t be collected back! The disciple couldn’t wait to tell the master the rumor he had heard in the marketplace. ‘Wait a minute’, said the master. ‘What you plan to tell us, is it true?’ ‘I don’t think it is.’ ‘Is it useful? ‘No, it isn’t’ ‘Is it funny?’ ‘No’. “Then why should we be hearing it?”(Anthony De Mello, One minute wisdom).

Rumor is a piece of information or a story that has not been verified. Gossip is small talk often termed juicy, ie, it deals with subjects that are shocking or personal. Some people slander in order to purposely cause pain or damage someone’s reputation. Rumors could involve the threat of physical danger. Jokes and wild stories help them get shapes. Why do people do it? To feel superior, to feel like part of the group, for attention, for control or power, out of jealousy or revenge or sometimes even out of boredom. It can be a form of exclusion, can destroy trust and could lead us to make bad choices in life.

Church from the beginning had a high moral standard. The 8th Commandment: ‘You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor’ brings along the aspect of loving our neighbor like the Good Samaritan. The CCC 2464 teaches us that “The eighth commandment forbids misrepresenting the truth in our relations with others. This moral prescription flows from the vocation of the holy people to bear witness to their God who is the truth and wills the truth. Offenses against the truth express by word or deed a refusal to commit oneself to moral uprightness: they are fundamental infidelities to God and, in this sense, they undermine the foundations of the covenant.” Also CCC 2479, “Detraction and calumny destroy the reputation and honor of one's neighbor. Honor is the social witness given to human dignity, and everyone enjoys a natural right to the honor of his name and reputation and to respect. Thus, detraction and calumny offend against the virtues of justice and charity.”

The 1st reading talks about the great things that happen in the presence of the Lord. The 2nd reading reassures us that our language should be different from the language of the world. We have a different standard. The command of Jesus in the gospel ‘Ephphatha! Be opened is not just a physical healing. In the presence of Jesus we learn how to talk and listen like people of God. When we talk to and about others, this commandment echoes in us. We open our hearts and souls as well when we talk. We are Christians in words and deeds. We are not meant to be deaf or dumb. In the presence of God, we are recreated every time so that we speak what God tells us to speak. Do you feel that you have been healed? Or are you happy being dumb and deaf, spreading rumors about innocent people!

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